Hate dancing but can do brilliant cartwheels

A teacher told me this story the other day. He was about to do PE with his class of 7 year olds. One little boy asked what they would be doing. Teacher explained that they would be doing 'dance'.
 Little boys face dropped and he said 'My leg hurts'
Teacher said 'Am sure it will be fine'
'But it really hurts' said the little boy.
'You really will be fine once we get upstairs and do our dancing, now go and line up at the door!'
With that the little boy cartwheeled to the door. So much for a poorly leg!

Bugger please

During a guided reading session we were reading a book where a little boy has supper. I have several children with English as an additional language so I asked if they knew what supper was. One little boy didn't know so I explained that we sometimes have something to eat before bed and we call that supper. He then got excited and said 'I have supper!'
'Oh what do you have?' I asked.
'I have bugger!'
'What? bugger??'
'Yes!!! I have bugger!'
I was getting a bit worried so I asked him again.
'What's bugger?'
'You know Mrs P bugger and chips!'
The penny dropped! He meant burger! Oh dear I think we need to work on our ur sounds!

mmm lovely menu

Back the Royal Wedding again, we were discussing in a class of 6/7year olds what would be a good Wedding Breakfast. The children had to design a 3 course menu. I asked one little girl what could we have for the main course.

She said 'Fish and Chips!'

I said 'That might not be the best thing for a posh wedding, but we could have fish. Can you tell me a name of a fish (I am thinking cod, haddock, salmon, tuna)?'
She said 'Nemo'
Well I suppose if you ask a stupid question then she was perfectly correct with her answer. I don't however, fancy Nemo and chips for my dinner!

Royal family

With the impending Royal Wedding on Friday where all us British folk get a days holiday, we decided to use this wonderful learning opportunity to teach a bit of history. Lots of questions were asked of the children and we had some lovely answers.

'Who rules our country?'
'God'

'How do you get a prince?'
'When something marries a queen?'

'What is she wearing on her head?' (pointing to the crown)
'A hat'

Our younger children got a bit obsessed with death after being told that Princess Diana had died. With each member of the Royal family that was shown on the whiteboard the children were asking...
'Is she dead?'
'Is he dead?'

Another staff member mentioned that in her class they had some lovely prince names, including 'Prince Colin'!

I am looking forward to more stories tomorrow.

Triangles are green

We were working on shapes with our 5 year olds. One of the games was to hide a shape and show a bit of it at a time to the children and they had to guess what the shape was. The idea being that they had to work out how many sides, corners etc. The class teacher was hiding the shape behind the board and she showed a bit at a time. A little girl whispered to me...

'I know what it is'

'Ooo what is it?'

'It's a triangle'

'Brilliant but how do you know?'

She looked at me as if I am stupid and rolled her eyes

'Well because it's green!'

So beware if you see a green shape then it has just got to be a triangle!

100 years or 2000 years what's the difference?

Our class went on a visit to a museum. It is a museum of 'real life' so basically everything that was used in the home up until the present day. Eg. washing machines, irons, wedding dresses etc. Part of the museum is an old Victorian street with lots of shops. It is very authentic and lit with gas lighting. We went into a sweet shop where the lady was explaining how to get sugar out of sugar cane. Next to her was a massive cake, beautifully iced. It was obviously iced for royalty or the very rich.
'Who do you think this cake is for?' she asked.
lots of blank faces...then a little lad's hand shot up.
'I know, I know'
'Oh good who?' said the lady.
'BABY JESUS!'

Oh dear, nevermind he was close. 100 year or 2000 years there isn't THAT much difference is there?

Nativity fun

Nativities always bring fun, laughter and tears. I remember one Christmas where we had quite a naughty boy in our class. Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles were watching their little ones with tears in their eyes.  So proud of their offspring. The children were nervous, excited and trying hard to remember their lines. Anyway this little boy was a sheep. I was in charge of the area behind the crib so I had all the lines ready to prompt any child that had forgotten. All was going really well until this little boy started getting a bit bored. I looked up from my script and there he was IN the crib. He had yanked baby Jesus out and tossed him to one side and climbed into the crib himself. It was very frustrating because he was just out of poking distance so I couldn't get too him without making a huge fuss. Eventually I managed to give him the look (any teacher or TA will know what that is) and he jumped out and put Jesus back. We did all have a laugh afterwards but at the time it was a matter of 'The show must go on'...regardless of who was in the crib...sheep or Jesus!

Your d is the wrong way round

During phonics the children were writing words with the letter 'd'. I noticed one of my younger children aged 5 had written 'b' instead. I pointed out that his spelling was great but just to look carefully at that letter (pointing at the 'b') Is that the right way to write a 'd'? Could it be the wrong way round do you think? His reply...

'Oh shit!'

Underbrella

I was working with a small group of children and we were looking at some picture cards and discussing what we could see. I pointed to a girl holding an umberella.

'What is this?'

'It's a underbrella!'

Now I think that is a much more sensible word for an umberella.

It's a toilet roll obviously

The teacher was teaching the class about 3d shapes. She held up a several shapes and the children were very good and saying what the shape was. She then held up a cylinder and asked...
'What shape is this?'
A child put his hand up and said 'It's a toilet roll!'

Well it is isn't it when you think about it.