Your d is the wrong way round

During phonics the children were writing words with the letter 'd'. I noticed one of my younger children aged 5 had written 'b' instead. I pointed out that his spelling was great but just to look carefully at that letter (pointing at the 'b') Is that the right way to write a 'd'? Could it be the wrong way round do you think? His reply...

'Oh shit!'

Underbrella

I was working with a small group of children and we were looking at some picture cards and discussing what we could see. I pointed to a girl holding an umberella.

'What is this?'

'It's a underbrella!'

Now I think that is a much more sensible word for an umberella.

It's a toilet roll obviously

The teacher was teaching the class about 3d shapes. She held up a several shapes and the children were very good and saying what the shape was. She then held up a cylinder and asked...
'What shape is this?'
A child put his hand up and said 'It's a toilet roll!'

Well it is isn't it when you think about it.

Garlic reading

A child rushed excitedly up to the class teacher and asked 'Are we doing garlic reading today?'
She meant guided reading.

Questionation mark

During guided reading I had been teaching the children about exclamation marks and question marks. A few days later I was doing a guided reading group and a  6 year old boy in my group got very excited when he saw a  'questionation mark' It was infact an exclamation mark! I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing and praised him for nearly getting it right.

It's so sunny

During my phonics session with year 2s, the children were looking at the IWB. One little boy said to me 'Please can I get my glasses?'
'Of course you can' I replied (but also quite concerned because I didn't know he wore glasses)
 'Where are your glasses?'
 'They are in my drawer'
'Right go and get them then'
 I continued with my lesson. I looked down at the little boy and there he is sitting looking intently at the Whiteboard with massive black sunglasses on. 
 'I dont think they are reading glasses are they?'
He smiled and said 'No they are for when it is sunny'
'Well it isnt sunny now is it? Put them back in your drawer!'
He had obviously got some new sunglasses and wanted to make use of them.

Big is so much easier

During a spelling test I read a sentence with the word large in it then said I want you to write the word 'large'

A little six year old boy looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face and said very seriously...
'Can't I just write 'big?'

It would be so much easier wouldn't it?

Use your letter names

I have been trying to get the children to actually say letter names instead of sounds when spelling a word out loud during my phonics lessons.
 A little lad (aged 6) came up to me and said Jake just called me a k...n...o...b head.
Brilliant use of letter names but I did find it difficult to keep a straight face.

So tiring

The children had white boards and pens and had to see how many times they could write their name in a minute. When the minute was up a little lad looked up at the teacher and said 'God I'm knackered!

Too noisy

This story was told to me. There were two schools in our downstairs hall practising for a music competition. Lots of instruments played somewhat badly. It was extremely loud. When it stopped one of the Reception children (aged 4) said...

'Thank god that shit has stopped!'

Oh dear not a good choice of words there!